"The Atlantic was born today, I'll tell you how..."

Another one of those nights; Sleepless and sobering.

The clouds above opened up and let it out - Death Cab for Cutie

A lot has happened and yet it still all seems a standstill.

Most recent update:

I am enrolled full-time again as a student, working towards an Associates in Business Management (hoping to complete this program in three semesters.

Hoping to start full-time in the Fall for my M.B.A.

Tuesday on my way to work I was hit on the drivers side by a peppy young girl in a hurry to get to work.

So as it stands I am praying that the financial aid comes through before classes begin on the 29th or no books for me and I am waiting for the adjuster to take a look at my car and tell me if it is fixable or not.

And, at this very moment I am waiting for sleep to overtake me and drift me softly into never-never land.

I miss An-e with all of my being. I feel like I need to see her, to hold her and we can just settle into our misery in that nice healthy way we do.

Previous thoughts aside, I feel like I am completely detached.

Marc's birthday has come and gone, and a quick text message was the only correspondence I had.

We haven't even met for our after Christmas soirée like we normally do.

The world is different, very different and nothing I can do or wish will correct it or make it the same again.

I've spent the last hour looking through my friends list on MySpace, just looking through the list of people that have come and gone and yet I make no effort to connect.

I wonder where they are, what they are feeling. Then I click off the page.

It's been five months since my mother died, and I feel like I am traveling super fast and getting nowhere.

It's a strange feeling, at this point I feel settled (good job, future plans, a 401k for goodness sake) but yet I feel like it is all too very volatile.

At any given moment it could all be gone.

I feel kinda like I am drifting through, going through the motions if you'll entertain another cliché.

Not sure where (or how) to find that feeling of security I once knew (or at least pretended to.)

I am 220+ pounds and still eating, tired but not sleeping, and sad but not crying.

It's unhealthy and yet, no quick solution can be found. There is no easy fix.

Sometimes I think the cycle never ends, we slide from top to bottom, we turn, climb again. And it's seems by the time that I have figured what it's worth the squeaking of our skin has gotten worse. - Death Cab for Cutie

The best I can do is grin and bear it; Mandy and I share the same opinion, "buck up and deal with it, it's life."

And so I bite down, the pillow drowns out my groans.

Sleep comes, but in no comforting form.

And tomorrow brings light to another set of obstacles.